I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

Was it coincidence that I chose this hymn (LDS Hymn 270 "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go") for choir rehearsal the week before the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang it in General Conference last week?  I don't believe in coincidence.  I believe I had a lesson to be learned from this hymn that needed to be drilled into my head in numerous ways.

Granted, the theme of "GO" has been weighing heavily on my mind as my husband and I transition into moving mode.  We're finally leaving sunny Arizona to head back to the wetness and gray skies of the Seattle area which is my beloved and much-missed home.  In fact, with luck, an offer will be going in on a home this very day.  My short little stubby fingers are triple crossed.

But as I was working out a simple arrangement of this hymn this week, another insight came to me...

My husband has been in very poor health over the last few years and trips to the emergency room are frequent, expensive and inevitably futile. Sometimes it gets exhausting and, yes, even depressing and (dare I say it?) annoying. While I was silently praying a woe-is-me lament over yet another trip to the emergency room, the lyrics of this piece came to my mind ("I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord..."), I was reminded that I have prayed for health for my husband -- in fact my entire ward held a fast for him once -- and yet for some reason, this is the pathway we're still on. If the Lord wants me to go to the emergency room over and over again to stand at my husband's bedside only to be sent home with no new results, then I'll go.  I know the Savior knows our circumstances and I simply have to submit my will to His greater wisdom. "So trusting my all to thy tender care, and knowing thou lovest me, I'll do thy will with a heart sincere; I'll be what you want me to be."  

This hymn is usually thought of as a missionary song.  I learned this week that it's also about embarking on  life's journeys.  If we have faith, we need never lament, fret, stress or worry.  We only need to go where He wants us to go, be what He wants us to be and say what He wants us to say.  

I'm good on the move to Washington.  I'm learning that I need to humble myself when it comes to the emergency room.  I'm thankful for the patience the Lord has with me, and for delivering a sweet hymn to my mind when I needed to learn an important lesson.

A Compliment Goes A Long Way

Maybe I'm just being sensitive, or possibly it's my overblown musician's ego (since it's said all musicians have an overblown ego), but it's my belief that music conductors are, by and large, taken for granted.  I've stood in front of Relief Society meetings hundreds of times and nary a face looks up as I'm waving my arms in the air.  Same goes for Sacrament Meeting.  The pianist and/or organist sets the tempo according to their skill and preference, and the conductor starts a-waving and sings the first notes of each verse to get everybody going.  Aside than that, I could probably get away with crossing my eyes, sticking out my tongue and spinning in circles, and nobody would notice.

Choir is a little different.  At least in choir rehearsal, I get to be bossy.  I can tell everyone, "Faster! Faster!" or "Slower; prettier!" or "Watch me! Watch me!" and they have no choice but to hear.  They're a captive audience.  Sometimes I like to hold a formata extra extra EXTRA long, or make a pause last indefinitely just to see who's paying attention.  (Oh, the games we conductors concoct for our own amusement...)  At least it keeps people on their toes and we all get a good chuckle when invariably one or two people get caught not looking.

Two weeks ago after we sang a stellar performance for Father's Day, I had several people tell me how great the choir is becoming.  One member of my choir come up to me and said, "You do such good work.  I feel like I can really sing now.  Thank you for being such a good choir conductor."  I stammered and turned the compliment back to the choir itself, but she insisted that a good choir is the result of a good director. 

I will wrap all those words up in a mental pink ribbon, and keep them close.  I will remember those things when I am busy and feel too squeezed to prepare music.  I will think about those words when it's time to drag myself out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to be the first at rehearsal.  Of course, don't get me wrong -- I'll still grumble.  Especially about the getting up early part.  But kind words of appreciation sure go a long way to making the job lighter.  In fact, there are moments when it is a sheer delight.

There is nothing in the world like sacred music, at least in my humble opinion.  Praising and glorifying our Savior through music is the ultimate spiritual experience.  I am convinced the more often we earnestly devote music to Him, the more He increases our talents.  My little choir has gone from a bit of a straggling group to a bunch that performs with solidarity, purpose and ability.  The thing is, they're pretty much all the same people I started with a year ago.

I'll take the compliments -- they go a long way.  But I truly can't take the credit.  That belongs to the Lord and to the people who give their hearts to Him in song.  "For the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me and shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads."  I testify that is definitely the truth.

I Feel So Needed

With three weeks to go until Easter, I was informed that the choir needed to sing not just one song for Sacrament Meeting...not just two songs...not just three songs.  We were expected to have five or six songs for the meeting.  Nothing like a good surprise.

Luckily, I've got bookmarks to plenty of LDS music sites, and I have a lot of folks ready and willing to step up to the plate.  I found a unison choir piece that was very simple and lovely in its simplicity.  And the four teenagers in the choir (bless them!) took on a lovely number called His Son.  Along with the one we'd been rehearsing already, one from the hymnbook and a soloist, we were ready.

So during rehearsal Easter morning I felt confident that we were ready, despite carrying an extra-heavy load.  There was one part in our showstopper closing song, How Great the Wisdom and the Love, where the congregation joins in, so I have to turn my back on the choir and let them fly solo, as it were. I worked and worked with the choir in that final rehearsal, turning my back on them, singing with them, listening to them, pointing out again and again that the phrasing is just a little different than the hymnbook version and to be aware of it.  We did it over and over and it was perfect every time...in rehearsal. 

The choir sang all the songs beautifully.  The kids were fantastic!  There were tears in the congregation and the choir when we sang I Know That My Redeemer Lives.  Then it was time for How Great The Wisdom and the Love.  We got through the first two verses without a hitch.  It was gorgeous!  We were on the home stretch and almost finished with a perfect performance.  Then on measure 76 I turned the music stand around, faced the congregation, and we're all singing and it's gorgeous and...then the choir messed up their descant.  Someone held a half note for five counts, and all the women followed along while the men and the piano held the note for the correct two beats and I'm singing as loud as I can over my shoulder to get the women back on track, but people in the front pews are looking at me like I've completely lost it so I clamped my mouth shut and waved my arms to the finish, trying hard to put a brave happy face on as I sat the choir down at the end.

Oh well.  At least I know I'm needed.  :-P  If it weren't for that one glitch, it would have been perfection.  My little choir did great.

The Mini Mo-Tabs

So today my brave little choir went boldly where they had never gone before with an old Mo-Tab Special (Mormon Tabernacle Choir, that is):  "Let The Mountains Shout For Joy."  It's not an easy piece.  There are countering lines, vocal runs and lots of high notes for all parts.  There are 16th notes to sing, which is never easy to do well.  Key changes, tempo changes.  The lyrics are oddly placed.  There are rests in spots where your voice is just getting settled in and comfy. But it's FUN!  Well, at least I think it is.  A challenge worth attempting.

I did ask everyone last week if they wanted an easy out at the last minute -- it wasn't too late to switch the song to something different.  But, no, they said let's brave on.

Rehearsal today went excellent.  I had five people in their seats by 8 o'clock, my pianist was there one minute later (although stressed and shaking his head about this song).  Pretty much everybody else was in their seat by quarter after, which by Mormon Standard Time, is doing quite well. 

After working out the rough spots and helping with some of the runs and timing, by 8:35 we sounded doggone great.  I was very impressed with everyone! 

If we could only have been the opening song rather than the middle of the program, though.  At 9 o'clock, everyone had the hard parts fresh in their minds, they were pumped up and their voices were primed.  But by 9:45, we lost some of that momentum and there were some pretty bald spots in the performance.

Still, I can't be harsh or say they did poorly by any means.  I give them kudos just for the fact that they didn't pull a mutiny on me for even presenting the piece, let alone pursue it when they had the chance to bail.

Five million points for bravery and perseverance! Gold stars for all!  My little choir wins again!

Don't Shoot the Piano Player!

I arose at 5:30 AM, a time that highly disagrees with me.  I sat on the sofa feeding my two spoiled rotten Chihuahuas as I waited for consciousness to alight upon me.  All the while, I'm hoping and praying that the oft-experienced We-Performed-Last-Week-So-We-(Or-At-Least-I)-Deserve-A-Sunday-Off absenteeism wouldn't be a problem.  By 7:30, the 'Burb was warming up and I headed off to church.  Luckily I found an outer door that was unlocked, despite the empty parking lot.  I opened the rehearsal room, set up three rows of chairs and waited in hopeful anticipation that our numbers would be as great as they were last week.

After church last week, a little birdie told me that my usual pianist would be out of town.  So I made arrangements for one of the young men who plays piano to fill in.  All I needed were the parts pluncked out, so no biggie.  I had full confidence in his abilities.

My tenor and a soprano couple arrived.  A minute later a bass arrived, followed shortly by an alto.  Enough to have a quartet, but not enough for a choir.  At five minutes after, I offered an opening prayer and prayed for more bodies to arrive -- preferably living, not dead asleep still.

By about 20 after the hour, I had eight people.  No pianist. 

In case you've never tried it before, let me assure you that it's tricky business leading a choir and playing the piano at the same time, even if you're only plunking out the individual parts.  Why?  Because the choir, especially when learning a new and rather complicated piece, relies heavily on the choir director to lead them vocally.  Unfortunately, I can hardly chew gum and clap my hands at the same time.  Likewise, I simply cannot play the piano and sing at the same time.  I fail miserably.  I'm not known for my piano playing either.  I'm lucky to get through four measures of one-fingered plunking without a major faux pas.

We worked mostly on the women's parts since the two men who were there are both able to sight read very well.  As I was plunking through the alto line, my poor alto kept saying she was getting lost.  So I'd start over, and again she got lost.  She said, "The F is held for three counts, right?"  I replied, "What F?  No, it goes like this..." and I'd plunk again.  She brought her music to me.  Lo! and behold, my copy was different than the one I'd downloaded off the internet for the choir. 

Just not my day.

So I pulled out a spare copy of the correct music, sat back at the piano, and plunked the ladies into utter confusion.  Have I mentioned I'm not great on the piano?

So don't shoot the piano player this week.  I did my best. 

Filling the Ranks

This past Sunday I was early to rehearsal, as was one other person.  By 8 AM there were maybe five people in their seats.  By 8:10 there were maybe seven.  I was without a pianist.  And I soon learned that a meeting was keeping more than half of my choir members out of rehearsal.  So our sparse few worked a cappella, which is hard for even the best choirs let alone a sparse little country choir in Arizona.

When the meeting let out at 8:30 and my people began showing, it was quite exciting.  We had more people than I've ever seen attend choir before!  We didn't have much time to rehearse with the piano, but we got through the piece enough times to make me confident we'd perform to the best of our abilities.

Sure enough, when it came time for my little group to sing How Great Thou Art, they did a great job.  They watched for my cut-offs, they watched the dynamics, they seemed sure of themselves and performed very well.  And there were so many people that the entire stand up front was full!  I was ecstatic.

How many people will return to the ranks?  How many new folks will show up?  Don't know.  It's always a tricky question.  Sometimes filling up the ranks one week will inspire even more to come out.  Sometimes those who may be lukewarm will figure choir will be fine without them and stay home.  We'll see...

But this week, I was a happy, happy choir director.

How Great Thou Art

Here we go!

I wrote an arrangement of How Great Thou Art that's simple, yet has enough changes to keep it flowing and interesting. Yes, I know the song has a copyright restriction but I'm not selling my arrangement and when the choir is finished, it will all disappear. Poof!

Today was the first time we've gone over my arrangement. As we started off, I began to wonder if perhaps my expectations for 2011 were a bit too lofty. I perished the thought and pushed on.

There was a big faux pas with the lyrics on the sheet music (my computer has a tendency of eating lyrics), and the altos seemed hesitatant about their first notes in the harmony since the piano part is really doing its own thing throughout. The "ad libitums" ended up more like fermatas since noses were buried in the music folders.

But let me tell you...it's amazing what 50 minutes versus 15 minutes of rehearsal can do! After rehearsing for about 40 minutes, my little choir was getting the feel of the music! They were finding their pitches! They were following their conductor!

I can't wait until next week to perform. Plus, I've got new singers scheduled to appear beginning next week.

There are times when I really love being a choir director. Today was one of them.

Choir...today, how great thou wert.