Maybe I'm just being sensitive, or possibly it's my overblown musician's ego (since it's said all musicians have an overblown ego), but it's my belief that music conductors are, by and large, taken for granted. I've stood in front of Relief Society meetings hundreds of times and nary a face looks up as I'm waving my arms in the air. Same goes for Sacrament Meeting. The pianist and/or organist sets the tempo according to their skill and preference, and the conductor starts a-waving and sings the first notes of each verse to get everybody going. Aside than that, I could probably get away with crossing my eyes, sticking out my tongue and spinning in circles, and nobody would notice.
Choir is a little different. At least in choir rehearsal, I get to be bossy. I can tell everyone, "Faster! Faster!" or "Slower; prettier!" or "Watch me! Watch me!" and they have no choice but to hear. They're a captive audience. Sometimes I like to hold a formata extra extra EXTRA long, or make a pause last indefinitely just to see who's paying attention. (Oh, the games we conductors concoct for our own amusement...) At least it keeps people on their toes and we all get a good chuckle when invariably one or two people get caught not looking.
Two weeks ago after we sang a stellar performance for Father's Day, I had several people tell me how great the choir is becoming. One member of my choir come up to me and said, "You do such good work. I feel like I can really sing now. Thank you for being such a good choir conductor." I stammered and turned the compliment back to the choir itself, but she insisted that a good choir is the result of a good director.
I will wrap all those words up in a mental pink ribbon, and keep them close. I will remember those things when I am busy and feel too squeezed to prepare music. I will think about those words when it's time to drag myself out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to be the first at rehearsal. Of course, don't get me wrong -- I'll still grumble. Especially about the getting up early part. But kind words of appreciation sure go a long way to making the job lighter. In fact, there are moments when it is a sheer delight.
There is nothing in the world like sacred music, at least in my humble opinion. Praising and glorifying our Savior through music is the ultimate spiritual experience. I am convinced the more often we earnestly devote music to Him, the more He increases our talents. My little choir has gone from a bit of a straggling group to a bunch that performs with solidarity, purpose and ability. The thing is, they're pretty much all the same people I started with a year ago.
I'll take the compliments -- they go a long way. But I truly can't take the credit. That belongs to the Lord and to the people who give their hearts to Him in song. "For the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me and shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads." I testify that is definitely the truth.
